Arthur and Gwen The Future
by MerlinsDaughter
Summary: Gwen has fallen pregnant. She is frightend to tell Arthur because she thinks she will be banished from Camelot. Merlin finds himself remembering his tragic past. Will Arthur accept becoming a perent?. Will Merlinescape from depression? Link for part 2-
1. Baby Pendragon

"Everything is fine Gwen. You won't need me anymore!

Gwen was happy yet unsure. Everything was different now. This would be the most life changing thing yet.

"Are you sure Gaius?"

"Positive."

Ever since she was young, Gwen dreamed of this moment. How exiting and exhilarating it might be. But now she was married to Arthur, everything seemed to be different than if he were an ordinary status man. She wanted to tell him the big news but – She was afraid. She was afraid that he would banish her from Camelot and make her swear on her life she'd never return.

"You're worried about Arthur." Gaius took hold of Gwen's soft hand and rubbed her on the shoulder.

"Gwen. I've known Arthur since he was born. I'm completely certain that he'll be overwhelmed with joy. You and I both know he is really a soft–heart on the inside!

"Thank you Gaius." Gwen smiled and hugged the physician without hesitation. But she still worried about her husband's reaction.

Gwen walked down the castle's hall with butterflies going crazy in her stomach. The word had come that Arthur had arrived from a private peace talk with another kingdom. She still couldn't believe what Gaius had told her. She felt a gentle poke on her back. "Merlin!" The man servant was grinning excitedly, clearly hiding something behind his back.

"Did you want something Merlin?"

"Actually I came to give you something."

From behind him he pulled out a fresh bunch of flowers. "Congratulations!" He walked towards her with his arms out wide, still grinning. They hugged each other; both giggling. These are for you. Gwen gazed at the violet flowers as if they were a puppy.

"Merlin, they're beautiful! Wait, how do you -?

"Gaius told me. I'm so happy for you Gwen!"

"Will Arthur feel the same? It's just that he never really talks about wanting children or this sort of thing."

It was true. The last time Arthur saw a child he shoved a sword in her face thinking she was an intruder! Although, he was very apologetic when the parents turned up. But this had always scared Gwen about Arthur mingling with the younger generation.

"When you tell him, he'll be the happiest man on this planet! I for one am overjoyed. Yet I am not even the farther. "

"Thank you Merlin. That really does mean a lot to me. Oh, and you never said – Why are you this happy?"

"I love babies! But never really get the opportunity to see them…"

Gwen noticed the disappointment in Merlin's eyes. It made her heart feel cold. He wanted a child very much. She hugged him gently.

"One day. Whenever it may be. You will be a wonderful father Merlin!"

20 years ago, Merlin's mother was in labour with his sister – May. The young Merlin waited anxiously outside the old wooden door with his ear pressed against the frame. His auntie Beth was also waiting with him. Beth gently put Merlin on her lap. He could barely stay still. The excitement about having a baby sister was really getting to him.

"It's not long now Merlin. She will be here soon."

"Can I go in?"

"Be patient Merlin!"

They waited for hours together outside the door. Never getting tired. Merlin felt something in his heart. Once again he put his ear to the door. The noise turned from screams into silence. He felt his heart pound in his chest. Then, he heard the magical sound of crying. Merlin gasped with happiness. His face was illuminated. He turned to Beth who gave him an encouraging nod. He peered in through the door. His mum was lying on the bed clenching wrapped up towels. He heard a faint cry. This surely would be the best moment of his life. His mum smiled warmly.

"It's okay Merlin. Come and say hello!"

Merlin carefully sat down on the end of the bed. He gazed at the infant in the arms of his mum. She was so beautiful! He couldn't wait to have his own.

"Can I hold her?"

"I was waiting for you to say that!"

Merlin's mum passed over the baby. She could tell he knew what to do from here. She smiled proudly at her son – He alone was a special gift! Merlin touched the cheek of his little sister. She had the most dazzling blue eyes he'd ever seen! Her hair was stunningly raven. She was so perfect!

"May."

"Pardon –"

"She looks like a May!

His mum kissed him on the head. She couldn't believe how fatherly Merlin was. One thing was for sure, Merlin was a very special boy. He deserved this more than anybody else!

"One day, you will be a wonderful father Merlin."

"Guinevere!"

That voice sounded familiar. Gwen took deep breaths as the footsteps drew closer. The haunting thought that Arthur would banish her was creeping back. She knew this was almost impossible, but it still worried her. She looked down at her stomach and felt growing warmth. She was extremely proud that part of Arthur was living inside of her. She rubbed her hands on her belly with pride. At this moment Arthur burst through the doors which made her jump. "Arthur!" She cried as he ran towards her.

"Are you okay?"

"Arthur you've only been gone 3 days, I'm fine!

"I know but I missed you."

"I missed you to."

There was an awkward silence. Gwen had to tell him she was carrying his child but somehow couldn't find the confidence. She hadn't had time to rehears how she would say it. She looked over Arthurs shoulder to see Merlin standing in the hall smiling. He mouthed the words 'It's okay'. Gwen's confidence level went up drastically. She swallowed the fear and took a deep breath.

"Gwen?"

Arthur became worried.

She took his hands into her lap and stared into his bright blue eyes. Tears were already forming in hers.

"I know this is sudden and we haven't been married very long but –

She began to stutter. The butterflies came back. Once again she looked over to Merlin who gave her a friendly smile. He knew she could do it.

"Arthur, you're going to be a father."

Arthur's face lit up. She'd never seen him this happy before! He put his hands on his head in disbelief.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes, Gaius told me yesterday."

Arthur kissed her like he'd never done before. Gwen felt his love for the child inside her. Merlin was still watching from the hallway. He was happy for Arthur. Although he hadn't said to anyone before, Arthur has talked to him about wanting a child. But he would only say things like 'What do you think about Aldor as a name, or what he'd do if the child was sick. But Merlin was concerned that Gwen's pregnancy would slow down their friendship. Merlin snapped out of his day – dream and noticed Arthur with his head on Gwen's shoulder crying. It had to be something pretty big to make Arthur Pendragon cry. Merlin stuck his head round the door. "Everything okay in here?" Arthur raised his head and stared at Merlin.

"Merlin, GET OUT!"

Gwen was more tired than usual. The baby had been kicking her ribs all night long. Gwen was enjoying being pregnant until now. The baby kicked again. This time it was more painful than the last. It made her flinch.

"Is everything alright Guinevere?"

Arthur rolled over to face her.

"No! Trouble has been hurting mum!"

Arthur laughed. He pointed at Gwen's bump and scolded the unborn child.

"Now listen here, you don't hurt mum she's very tired!

They looked at each other and began to laugh. Gwen held Arthur's hand and put it on her stomach. This was the first time Arthur had felt their child. He would always shy away before. He started to feel things moving.

"Did you feel that?.. And that? Arthur was intrigued by this alien sensation.

"Arthur, I feel everything!"

He was still fascinated with everything going on inside her. He put his head to her belly and listened to the sound of his baby's heartbeat. "This is amazing!" He shed a single tear. Moments like this he could never forget.

"I love you Guinevere…"

Arthur had just finished training. He was sweating like a pig and needed a bath. "Merlin!" The king shouted to his man servant but he got no response. "Merlin I need my bath water filled." Still no response. He headed down to Gaius' chambers. Maybe Merlin was down there.

"Gaius, have you seen Merlin anywhere?"

"Sorry sire, I haven't seen him for a while."

Merlin was always unpredictable. One minute he's loyal, then clumsy, then he's your best friend, then he betrays you?

"I'll check in the stables. He can't have gone far. Arthur searched the whole castle. Then he heard a small echo come from the kitchen. He burst through the door to find Merlin crying in the corner.

"Merlin, what happened?"

"It's nothing…"

"By the looks of you it's not!"

"You'll think I'm stupid."

"I promise on my baby's life I won't think It's stupid."

Merlin was in much discomfort. He slid down the counters and rested on the floor. He hung his head.

"When my little sister was born, it was the best time of my life. I waited 9 months for her. And when she came, I never felt better. She was so beautiful. And she was mine. Whenever I held her, my troubles would melt away. Then the diseases came. And she got ill. I said to mum I would protect her. But the disease got worse and… I lost her…"

Merlin was in hysterics. Arthur felt like crying as well. He kneeled down to Merlin's height.

"I'm really sorry Merlin. I didn't realize. But why are you so upset now?"

"Just seeing you, and Gwen. It reminds me of what I did. I killed my own baby sister. And I can't ever get her back."

"Merlin, don't blame yourself. It wasn't you."

Merlin put his head in his hands. Arthur felt all his pain. He knew how horrible it must be to lose someone you were so close to. He put his hands on his back and whispered softly,

"You are one brave man, Merlin."

"But I killed her."

"No you didn't. You were young. I don't know anybody who could look after an increasingly sick child like you did. You did everything in your power, Merlin. Don't beat yourself up."

Merlin wiped the tears from his eyes. He was amazed at how understanding Arthur was. But it's not like Arthur hadn't felt the same. His father died in his arms as May did in Merlin's. Arthur opened his arms and gave him a big man hug!

"You should have told me earlier. Please don't sit here on your own. Talk to someone."

"Thanks Arthur, but Gwen needs you more than I do right now. She needs more support than any other person."

Arthur wanted to stay with him, but knew Gwen really did need him. He tapped him on the back quietly left the room. He hoped the old clumsy Merlin would be back soon. It saddened him to see Merlin so emotional. But the fact that losing a baby made him feel even worse. How could his best friend sit in the dark on his own and cry. Arthur felt terrible that he wasn't there when Merlin needed him.

Arthur returned to his chambers. He slowly closed the door behind him. "It's alright Guinevere I found Merlin." It wasn't alright. Gwen was lying on the floor gasping for air. Arthur panicked. He threw his armour on the floor and ran towards her. He put his cape around her and cradled her.

"Arthur, help!"

"Guinevere, what happened?"

"I was just making the bed and I got this pain, it was worse than any other. Arthur what do I do?"

Gwen was clenching her stomach hard and whining. Arthur kissed her on the forehead. He was probably more panicked than she was! He slid his arms underneath her and scooped her up.

"I'll take you to Gaius. Just hold on to me and keep breathing. Everything is going to be okay." The weight of Gwen and the child inside of her made him stumble. Arthur held her tight and set off to find Gaius. He had never felt so close to Gwen before. He loved her so much. And in return she was going to give him a child! Life for Arthur was so magical! Gwen screamed louder. Arthur wished he could take away all the pain, but unfortunately there was only so much he could do. "Gaius!" The physician pointed at an empty bed and ran to a shelf full of chemicals. Merlin was sitting on a small stall reading an old brown book. He peered over the pages and saw Arthur and Gwen holding each other. Merlin jumped up from his stall and ran over to them.

"Don't worry, Gaius is getting things sorted. Gwen, where about is it hurting?" Gwen rubbed herself near the bladder area.

"Right here. It's like a burning feeling…"

"Okay, it's just contractions. Tell me, how many months gone are you?"

Gwen thought hard. She hadn't really paid attention to counting days. Arthur interrupted Gwen's thinking.

"It's 9 and half months…"

Merlin wasn't surprised. Arthur had secretly been counting the days since Gwen told him! Gaius returned with many pots and towels. Gwen knew she was safe now. She looked at Arthur who squeezed her hand. Merlin swabbed her forehead with a cool cloth which he then handed to Arthur. "Swab her head every minute. This will help with stress." Arthur was amazed with how fantastic Merlin was. How could someone who was too depressed to move, suddenly turn into a confident nurse? Gaius called from the other end of the room,

"Merlin, go and fetch some forceps."

"I'm on it!"

Merlin sprinted across the room. He knew how much that baby meant to Arthur and Gwen. He scattered around in the old dusty draw and pulled out the forceps. Gwen screamed again. Merlin and Gaius ran over a quick as they could. Gaius asked her to prop up her legs.

"You're fully dilated!" Arthur tipped back his head and let out a huge sigh of relief. Merlin reached over Gaius' shoulder and grabbed a bottle of blue liquid.

"Here, drink this. It should ease the pain."

"Thank you Merlin."

Gwen was already growing exhausted. Arthur swabbed her again. He didn't know what to do but, at least Merlin and Gaius did! Arthur was clearly trying to hold back tears. Very soon he would be a father to the prince or princess of Camelot! Gaius could tell that they were both exited. But the hard part was yet to come…

"Okay Gwen, the next time you feel that burning sensation, I need you to push as hard as you can and listen to Merlin very carefully. Arthur – you know what to do."

Gwen was very nervous, she had no idea what the birth would feel like.

"Arthur, stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm always here."

Arthur and Gwen gazed at each other. They both realized how lucky they were to have one another! Gwen felt that burning feeling again. And she panicked.

"Merlin?"

"Gwen you have to trust me. Take a deep breath and push!"

Gwen clenched Arthur's hand and pushed as hard as she could. Arthur stopped holding back the tears. He didn't care about what people thought of him. He was still a man! Merlin interrupted.

"Breathe Gwen. You're doing so well! Do you want to have a look Arthur?

Arthur hesitated. He didn't know whether he wanted to look or not. At this point Gwen let go of his hand. She wanted him to see everything she was feeling. Arthur walked over to Merlin. He couldn't believe what he was seeing…

"Oh my god! I – Is that the –

"Yes Arthur. That's your baby's head!

"It's amazing!"

Gwen started to hyperventilate. Merlin rushed over to her and told Arthur to hold her hand. She was so close to having a child in her arms. Merlin could tell she only needed on more push.

"You're so close Gwen. Another big push and the baby's here!"

Gwen was so tired. Her heart was pounding; her words became muffled.

"I can't do it Merlin. I can't…"

"I know you can do it. But you must not give up. Otherwise this child will die. And losing a child is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone."

Arthur kissed Gwen. She was strong. He of all people knew that she would never give up. "Guinevere, listen to Merlin. He knows what he is doing." Gwen gritted her teeth and faced Merlin. She put all her trust with him.

"On the count of 3, you have to push. 1, 2, 3!"

Gwen sunk her head into her chest. She groaned as she pushed harder. Arthur whimpered as his hand got crushed – but he didn't care! His child was so nearly born.

"Come on Guinevere, keep going!"

Gaius mopped his head as Gwen screamed. He called for Merlin to join him. Gwen screamed louder. Merlin grabbed some towels in preparation. Gaius and Merlin looked at each other and grinned. Gwen had stopped screaming. Arthur waited for a response. "Is everything alright?" Merlin looked up at the new dad.

"Everything is perfect!"

Gaius lifted up some blankets from which came crying. The physician handed the infant to Gwen.

"Congratulations, it's a girl!"

Gwen cradled her little girl and felt warm all over. All of the pain was worth it. She wouldn't want anything else. Just her daughter. She looked over to Arthur who had his head in his hands. He couldn't believe what he had been blessed with.

"Arthur."

He looked up. Gwen was holding up their baby. She gently passed her over to him. He slowly rocked from side to side. And gradually, she opened her eyes. Arthur began to well up. Her big blue eyes overwhelmed him.

"Hello. I'm your daddy!"

Merlin sat down next to Arthur. He could see how beautiful she was. It was like seeing May all over again. Merlin became emotional yet again. Arthur could tell what he was feeling. He remembered what Merlin had said about when he held May all his worries would go away. Arthur asked him to hold out his arms. He laid his child with Merlin. Merlin was surprised that Arthur let him hold his little girl. Never the less, it made him feel amazing!

"She looks like you Arthur! What are you going to name her?"

Gwen and Arthur looked at each other. They both knew how much Merlin wanted to be a father. Gwen smiled at him.

"Actually Merlin – Arthur and I would like you to name her!"

Merlin blushed. He couldn't believe his ears!

"I – I can't she's your daughter not mine!"

"Arthur told me about how you lost your sister. We thought this might make you feel close to her again. After all, you are her godfather!"

"I'm the godfather?"

"Yes. If anything happens to Arthur, she'll have you there for her."

"Thank you so much! I cannot begin to tell you how much this means to –

Arthur interrupted,

"Merlin, please. We don't need a speech! What are you going to name her?

Merlin looked upon the face of the princess. He thought to himself how lucky he was to have this honour.

"I think she suits Nancy!"

Arthur looked at his daughter and smiled. Merlin really was very fatherly! He couldn't wait to bring up his child.

"Welcome to the world Nancy Pendragon…"

End of part 1.


	2. He's my uncle

Merlin cradled Camelot's future queen. Arthur would soon be back from training, but he didn't mind. His strict instructions were to guard Nancy with his life – otherwise he would be fed to the dogs. He never really knew what Arthur meant when he said 'I'll feed you to the dogs'. Did they even have dogs in the castle? He'd certainly never seen them! He was interrupted by faint crying. He couldn't believe Nancy was 2 weeks old today! "Shhh! It's okay daddy will be back soon." Merlin rested her head on his shoulder. He had a very special bond with her. It was almost as if she was his own. Gaius placed a bottle of warm milk on the bedside table.

"You know Merlin, I'd be so proud to call you my son."

Merlin didn't reply. He just simply smiled. Gaius had felt like a father since he came to Camelot. Once again he gazed at Nancy. She put her little chubby hand in the air and pulled his neckerchief.

"Hey! I only have two of these left! I'll get you one when you're older."

Merlin tickled her nose. He had a gut instinct that she would be an amazing queen! Arthur quietly entered Merlin's room. He pulled of his leather gloves and flicked Merlin on the head. This angered him.

"Oh, so you're back then."

Arthur laughed and sat down next to him. He looked at his daughter and then back to Merlin.

"Oh, sorry!"

Merlin passed over his baby. Arthur cuddled her and stroked her blonde hair.

"Have you had a good time with uncle Merlin?"

Nancy recognised her father. She slowly closed her eyes and stuck her tiny thumb in her mouth. Within seconds she was fast asleep. Arthur was dumbfounded.

"Merlin, what have you done to her? She's shattered!"

"Nothing! I just sat here with her.

Arthur put his free arm around Merlin's shoulders.

"It was a complement."

Arthur was more than just a friend to Merlin. He felt like a brother. One that you occasionally fall out with, but can't stay mad at for long. Yet, there was one thing he didn't know about Arthur. Something he had always wanted to know but had never asked. Somewhere, he found the courage to ask him.

"Arthur, how old are you?"

"Excuse me."

Merlin continued to look at Arthur. He couldn't tell if he was offended or not.

"Well I was just wondering because you never actually mentioned it before."

"You really want to know?"

"Of course!"

"I'm 24."

Merlin stared at him. He got side-tracked and in his mind began fantasising how sweet he looked holding his little girl.

"Did you think I was too old to bring up a child then?"

"No not at all! Quite the opposite in fact."

Arthur looked down at his snoozing daughter. Did Merlin honestly think he was too young to have a child?

"It's not like she's hard work Merlin. To be fair, she doesn't really do much."

"She's just like you then!"

Arthur scowled at him. Offence was taken. He quickly changed the subject.

"How old are you then Merlin?

Merlin hesitated.

"23… Why?"

"I was just seeing whether you matched with your mental age – of 6.

Merlin laughed sarcastically. Suppose he shouldn't compare him to a 2 week-old baby.

"Arthur. May I remind you who delivered your daughter?"

Arthur put his hand on his back and winked at his friend.

"I know Merlin. Gaius did an amazing job!"

"Oi!"

"Don't worry Merlin. You were absolutely fantastic. I don't know what I would have done without you! But tell me one thing; how the heck did you know what to do?"

Merlin was surprised that Arthur actually wanted to listen to him for once! He traced his thoughts back to when he was 14 years old.

"When I was young. I was heading down to the woods to collect some logs for my mother. I heard some shouting. At first I thought it was a fox, but then I saw a woman in real pain. Clearly she was in labour. I had no idea what to do so I took her to my mum."

"Wait, you _carried _her to your mother?"

"Well, not carried as such…"

"Hang on Merlin. You dragged a _pregnant_ lady across the woods?"

"Arthur!"

"Sorry – Carry on."

"My mother was the village nurse at the time. She took the women into our house and treated her then and there. She thought it would be a good experience to see a child being born. So I sat and watched her. It was a bit scary at first but I soon became used to it. Fortunately the women and her child were fine, but I wanted to learn more. In case something like that happened again. And everything she knew, so did I! Since I came to Camelot, I went out with Gaius and helped people and their new babies."

"So it goes back quite a long way then?"

"Yes. Although, this little one was my highlight!"

Arthur loved Nancy as much as Merlin did. He never really saw himself as a mushy baby hugging father! But it's what he was meant to do as a dad – Right?

"Come on Nancy, your mother is probably wondering where we've gone. Thanks for looking after her Merlin."

"It was my pleasure!"

Arthur put her to his chest and left the room cautiously. He didn't want to wake her. He wasn't very good with putting her back to sleep again! That was usually Gwen's job! As he walked down the hall, Sir Leon approached him, baring good news.

"Sire, Queen Guinevere wishes to see you in your chambers."

"Thank you. I was on my way down there as we speak."

Gwaine strolled past and pointed at the infant in Arthur's arms.

"It's past her bedtime!"

Arthur turned around and laughed sarcastically.

"You'll be sorry when she is a powerful knight! Just you see…" Arthur's 'threats' were no use. He just looked so – _Unthreatening _holding a tiny baby in his arms. The knights saw this as an opportunity to wind Arthur up! But the king himself didn't mind. He would always laugh along with them because; knights of Camelot and himself were like a huge family! Arthur stopped chatting and headed down to see Gwen. He was looking forward to seeing his wife again. It had been a long hard day and he was missing her very much. Arthur pushed open the door and smiled longingly at his wife. She was so special. She was his queen. He lowered Nancy into her crib. He was cautious not to wake her. Arthur tucked her into the red blanket, the one with the Pendragon symbol on it. He stared at her for a while. It was like she had the ability to take him into trance as soon as he looked upon her. Gwen took him out of trance.

"Arthur." She patted the space on the bed beside her. Arthur sat down. He became worried yet again.

"Guinevere, you're not pregnant again are you?"

Gwen laughed. She couldn't tell whether he was joking or not.

"No Arthur, I'm not pregnant! I just want to let you know that, I'm so glad to have you as my husband. I love you so much."

"The funny thing is; I love you too."

The couple pulled each other into a kiss. Arthur tickled Gwen down her sides. Gwen stood up and ran to the end of the bed. Arthur chased her and continued to tickle her. Gwen was laughing hard.

"Arthur, stop it!" Arthur continued to tickle her. They began to chuckle together. Suddenly, Arthur lost his footing and fell backwards on to the bed. Gwen landed on top of him. They stared into each other's eyes and became lost in the moment. Gwen kissed him as he pulled her dress down to her shoulders. It was one of Gwen's 'safe' days so there was no hesitating. She pulled down his trousers as Arthur kissed her down the neck – King Arthur and Queen Guinevere made love that evening.

Merlin stared down at his so-called breakfast. He swore that he saw one of the lumps moving. He wondered what delicious appetising foods Arthur might be eating at this time. He wondered…

"Merlin! Stop day dreaming, you were meant to give Arthur his breakfast – Half an hour ago!"

Gaius swung open the door like there was no tomorrow! Although Merlin had saved Camelot on more than one occasion, you couldn't leave him alone for more than 10 minutes.

"Oh crap, I was wasn't I?"

"Language Merlin!"

"Errm, English I think. Look I'd love to stay and chat but I have the king to tend to."

Gaius didn't have time to catch his breath. Merlin slammed the door behind him and ran to Arthur's chambers.


	3. I Was Born With It

He anticipated stepping inside for a moment, and braced himself for any object to be thrown. He confidently opened the door and pretended nothing was wrong. Arthur was standing by his bed crossing his arms.

"What time do you call this Merlin?"

Merlin looked around trying not to look intimidated.

"Uh, breakfast..."

"Don't act smart Merlin, it really doesn't suit you. "

"Yes but, you asked me what time-"

Arthur interrupted rudely. He looked his man-servant in the eyes and lectured him.

"Merlin, fetch me some breakfast, then polish my chainmail, clean my room, sharpen my sword and then muck out the horses. Or else."

Merlin had it coming. It's not like it was the first mishap he'd had with Arthur. Many, many times before this had happened. It was almost as if it was necessary! It was not funny though. One day Arthur would kick off. And that day would be soon if Merlin wasn't careful. So it was only right if he did as he was told and mucked out the horses. How it stunk. Merlin swore that one of the horses was ill because the smell was repulsively unnatural. Nevertheless it had to be done… Or did it? Merlin dropped his shovel and rested on a clean pile of hay. What people didn't know couldn't hurt them! Slowly and surely he closed his eyes and drifted off. Dream of dreams, fear of fears. How relaxed and wonderful he felt. Unfortunately it was only destiny to be interrupted by a noise. But this was no ordinary sound. It was loud, it echoed. It was crying of a baby. Merlin jumped up from position and silenced himself. The crying echoed louder and louder in his head. It was almost unbearable. Merlin forgot about everything and ran to Gaius as fast as his legs would carry him. He burst through the door and stumbled over the entrance step. Gaius dropped a bottle of yellow fluid causing a loud smash.

"Merlin you startled me! What's going on? Aren't you supposed to be doing your chores?"

"I know, but this is important. When I was mucking out the horses, I heard crying, loud crying."

"Merlin, there are a lot of children in Camelot. It could've been anyone."

"This is different. I know that is was Nancy. I can tell Gaius…"

Gaius looked at Merlin in disbelief. It was impossible. The young princess had been with Gwen all day. Merlin hesitated. He couldn't believe himself either.

"I heard the cries in my head. The same as I did when I first met Mordred. Is it possible that Nancy might have magic?

Gaius rubbed his head. Once he'd added up everything that Merlin had said, it seemed to be correct.

"If you keep hearing her in your head, there is no other explanation… But how? Neither Gwen nor Arthur have the abilities."

Merlin knew the answer to this question. Although, he pretended it was a guess.

"Arthur was born of magic. He might have picked up some sort of magical – well, residue when he was conceived. It is the only reasonable explanation for this to happen."

Merlin and Gaius were both silent. They didn't really know what to think about this. How would Arthur react? His own child would have such abilities that have been banished from Camelot for years. Surely he can't execute her? How would he even find out? It wasn't like Merlin could just confront Arthur and say he heard crying in his head, and his daughter is magic. There was no way that he'd believe that! Perhaps the best way to find out was by accident? Then Arthur would just assume that his baby was magic. And learn to accept that it was a gift, not a threat. But no matter how it happened, it had to happen sooner rather than later. Merlin had a plan.

"Gaius, if Nancy were to fall ill, maybe her cries would be louder. This could cause something to happen. I know when I was little my mother said my screams would crack glass. This could possibly have the same effect."

"Yes but how do we make her ill without harming her?"

"Come on Gaius! You must have something in here. Anything!"

"You're right. I'll see what I can conjure up. But what about Arthur?"

"Leave him to me!"

Merlin grabbed his jacket and headed on towards the stables. Everything had to seem natural. As much as it annoyed him, he had to finish his jobs. He observed the blisters on his hands before picking up the heavy shovel and scooping up pile after pile of horse dung.

Meanwhile, the physician was raiding his dusty cupboards for any traces of harmless, short-term illnesses. He was in luck. A small bottle of orange/gold liquid marked 'Treapon' was found behind many other chemicals. Treapon was like the common cold, only less harmful. It was highly likely that a child at some stage of their life would catch it. Gaius fetched some milk and added a tiny drop of Treapon. He swigged it around in the bottle before delivering it to Merlin. Gwen and Arthur wouldn't be very suspicious about Merlin being alone with their baby. He was very trusted indeed. The servant quietly entered Arthur and Gwen's chambers. Nancy was fast asleep in her crib. Merlin felt somewhat guilty about what he was about to do. "Sorry hun, this isn't going to be very nice…" He put the lid cap to her lips. She began to suckle. After the bottle was emptied, Merlin stroked her head and tucked her in. The effects of the Treapon were beginning to take their tolls. Nancy spluttered a little. Merlin quickly left the room before one of the maids noticed crying. All that was left to do now was find Arthur and tell him that his daughter might be ill. Merlin hoped for the better… Once again he'd have to interrupt the king's council meeting. He knocked on the doors, not too hard yet, not too soft and waited for a response. Arthur heard his knocks. The king turned to Sir Leon.

"See who it is."

"Yes sire."

Sir Leon carefully peered round the doors. After all, it could've been anyone! He glanced back at Arthur and gave him that 'oh damn' look.

"It's just Merlin."

"Okay, send him in."

Merlin entered the room with all eyes on him. It was probably the most awkward moment of his life. Arthur seemed to be frustrated. Then again, he didn't have the best morning with the manservant earlier!

"I hope you have a good reason for interrupting us Merlin."

"Yes, I do. It's Nancy…"

Arthur expression turned from frustration into worry.

"What's happened? Is she okay?"

"I believe she is ill. You must see her."

Arthur threw his papers onto the table and apologized to his council members. He jumped over his chair and completely bypassed Merlin. All he cared about was the wellbeing of his daughter. He loved her dearly. Arthur followed the crying sounds until he reached his princess. He flung the door open and laid eyes on his weeping child. He could easily tell that she was very unwell. Arthur cradled his baby and sat on the stall beside her crib. Merlin crouched down next to them. The king stroked her pale cheek and dried her tears.

"We must take her to Gaius."

"No!"

Merlin knew they had to stay and wait for something to happen. Otherwise all of his work would have been for nothing. But he realized what he had just done. He had given _the king_ orders. He quickly thought of an explanation.

"Gaius is not here. He is helping someone with a fever."

"What are we going to do then?"

Merlin stared at Arthur. He was clearly panicked about the whole situation. Merlin felt incredibly guilty about what he had done.

"All you can do is comfort her. She needs her father."

Merlin scanned the room looking for any changes in glass structures. There was nothing. He hoped something would happen soon. Arthur had to know the truth about his daughter. Fortunately Merlin noticed the bottle of milk containing the Treapon in it. There was still a tiny bit left. He handed it to Arthur. Once again she drank the liquid. And with luck she screamed louder. The candles blew out, the mirror cracked and Merlin flinched. The screams were twice as loud to him. Arthur jumped at the sight of everything going on around him. He wanted to believe he was imagining it all; he wasn't. Nancy screams grew louder. But this time her eyes glowed a golden yellow colour. There was no doubt about it. The daughter of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere had magic. The kingdom of Camelot would be changed forever. Arthur was teary, although he didn't want to show it in front of Merlin. He didn't know how to react. Should he be scared, or angry, happy, he honestly didn't know.

"Merlin, what's happened to her?"

"Nothing has happened. She was born this way."

"How would you know Merlin? It's not like you know _anything_ about magic."

Merlin had heard this so many times before. He panicked. This time it was different. Arthur had to accept that magic was not always a bad thing. He took several deep breaths before facing Arthur.

"Arthur…"

Merlin closed his eyes, cupped his hand and whispered a strange word. Slowly he opened his hands to reveal a blooming red flower. Merlin continued to keep his eyes sealed shut. He was too scared to open them. A single tear rolled down his face. For many years he had been hiding who he truly was. And now it was the time to face up to himself. Arthur had his free hand resting his head. Merlin began to open his teary eyes; his heart was pounding really fast. He was finding it hard to breathe. Arthur didn't look up. He couldn't…

"I trusted you Merlin. I thought that we were… friends…"

"I'm sorry. Words can't describe how sorry I am. But it was Uther. He would have me killed. I was born like this."

"Merlin, just please leave me and my baby alone."

"But Arthur..."

"Merlin please – just go."

Merlin was cold all over. How could he have been so stupid? He picked himself up and ran all the way back to his chambers. Gaius was nowhere to be seen. Merlin was distorted. He rounded up all his things and left with nowhere to go, no one to be with. He stared back at the castle and held back his tears. He was leaving his whole life behind him. Despite everything he pushed himself forwards and stepped outside the castle gates. He hadn't even said goodbye. But he had to go. He was alone, so alone. But that was life. Crying won't get him anywhere. But he knew that he was doing the right thing. If Arthur can't accept him for who he is, there is no place for him in Camelot. Not anymore…

Arthur laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He was still trying to get his head around that his servant and his child had magic. Nancy began to cry. He edged himself out of bed. It was difficult without Gwen around. She had only left in the morning to visit her cousins. But he still missed her. He scooped up Nancy and nuzzled her into his shoulder. She was still unwell from the Treapon. He began to talk to her.

"You're very special. But don't let it stop you. I promise I will not be like my father. I'll protect you forever. Honest."

As he looked down, Arthur noticed a note where Nancy was sleeping. He grabbed the paper and read what was on it:

_Dear Arthur,_

_I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I understand why you are angry at me. I should not have lied to you for so many years. But I cannot help the way I was born. All I wanted to do was lead a normal life. But it was harder than I expected. First I end up in the same place that Uther had banished magic for over twenty years, then I find out I am going to be a servant to a certain Prince Arthur. I'm not going to lie, I hated the idea! But after a while I realized what a great king you were going to become. Despite everything you father told you, you followed your heart and shared your love with Gwen. And even when times were tough, you stayed by her. Eventually you were married. And now you have a beautiful daughter. A beautiful daughter with magic. I was always told that magic was a gift, not a dangerous craft. Those people were right. Magic is only dangerous with the wrong person. I am not a bad person. I do not wish to harm anyone or anything. I just want to let you know this. I'm sorry that I deceived you. I thought we could have been friends. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I know that I no longer have a place here in Camelot. I have gone away. I myself do not know where I will go. Keep Gwen and Nancy safe. Tell everyone I said goodbye._

_Merlin. _


	4. Ruth

Merlin warmed himself by the campfire as the cold night drew in. He tried to forget about everything that had happened back at Camelot. But as much as he tried, he couldn't. It was his destiny to be there. Although, he could barely believe it. He was so young, yet he had practically thrown his entire life away. How could he be so stupid? Even if he returned to Ealdor, everyone would see him as a failure – even his mother. The wolves' hounds sent a chill down his spine. He missed Arthur telling him to stop being a girl. Merlin was terrified of any sound or movement in the bushes. He figured the best thing to do was ignore his thoughts and sleep. He kept tossing and turning to find a good position. But nothing would work. The sticks, roots and dried mud was simply too uncomfortable to sleep on. Therefore to avoid pain, he buckled up his boots at took a small nightly stroll. The sound of twigs breaking made the atmosphere ten times more eerie. A few foxes would occasionally squeal making him gasp with fright. Sometimes, he would sing to himself to ease his stress. But as his fear grew stronger, he could tell something was not right. He ran to the only place that could make things better. A lake. So far, yet so near. This was the last place Merlin had May by his side. It was here she died. Resting in her brother's arms. He remembered touching her colourless cheek as it grew cold – as his tears fell onto her chest. He built a small boat out of unearthed roots and twigs. Saying goodbye would be tough, he had barley said hello. He laid his lifeless sister within the boat. Gently nudged it forwards towards the blue mountains in the distance. Merlin could never forget the day he lost the greatest sister he or anyone could ever have. He tried to put the past behind him, but today was special. Something he couldn't forget… "I'm missing you. I don't understand why this happened. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. It's all my fault that you died. But not one moment did I forget. How could I? You were so wonderful! Mother blames herself for your passing, but I know this is my doing. Words can't describe how sorry I am." Merlin sat down on the damp ground and stared towards the dreary night sky. "How could I forget this special day?" Merlin aimed his hand at the sky and whispered some strange words. An elaborate show of golden lights filled the sky. They danced around illuminating the still water. It was so magical! Merlin let out a smile and spoke into the gleaming sky. "Happy 13th birthday May!" The words of a neighbourhood lullaby flowed from his dry lips. He used sing the song to May as she slept. Merlin curled up beside the water's edge and slowly began to sleep. The sound of the twirling lights and owls made it easy for him to dream. He knew his May was watching over him.

"I can't believe he has gone…" Arthur laid beside Gwen on their bed. Gwen hugged him softly.

"You didn't realize how much Merlin was to you."

Arthur was silent. Gwen was right. He looked up to the ceiling and mumbled.

"I didn't mean for it to be like this… I know he is… _was,_ just a servant but he was – the best friend I could ever have. I miss him Gwen."

Gwen squeezed him hard. She liked to see the sensitive Arthur. She too missed Merlin. She felt all the pain Arthur was feeling. They had known each other for so long. Arthur looked at her in the eyes and pleaded.

"Please Guinevere, what do I do now? This doesn't feel right…"

"I think you know what to do!"

Arthur sighed and smiled at Gwen warmly. She was right, he know what do.

"At first dawn, I shall search for him. You cannot tell anyone about this. I must go alone."

Gwen snuggled up to Arthur. She was so in love with him at this moment. She didn't care whether Merlin had magic or not. But to be honest, she did already know. It was when Morgana had enchanted her turning her into a wild deer that she found out. Once she was severely injured, Merlin found her and healed her wounds instantly. She pretended that she did not notice. Gwen never spoke of it since. She knew that Merlin had a tough time trying not to reveal who he was. It was best kept quiet.

The next sunrise, Arthur packed a small brown bag in preparation to find Merlin. He smiled longingly at Gwen who had Nancy in her arms. He heard footsteps coming down the hall and whispered into Gwen's ear, "Look after our baby. I don't know when I shall return." She hugged him with one arm. Arthur knelt down and kissed Nancy on her forehead. Gwen whispered back:

"Be careful."

"I promise I'll be back safely – with Merlin."

They kissed one last time before Arthur put the hood of his cloak onto his head and set off to find Merlin. He didn't care what the consequences may be. He just wanted his friend once more…

Merlin awoke with rotten leaves in his hair. He brushed them out before noticing a sound in the distance. Merlin sprung onto his feet and decided to investigate. He wasn't scared like he was the previous night. This was different. He stopped to listen to where the sound was coming from, all of a sudden he heard a loud cry for help. Merlin ran towards it as fast as his legs would carry him. Someone was badly hurt. A girl was lying on the soggy ground clutching her arm. He looked into her hazel eyes and placed his hand on her back.

"What happened?"  
"It was bandits… They took my money, my foods – I have to find them, they have everything!"

Merlin steadied her. She was trembling with fear. The girl struggled to try and get free.

"Let me go, please!"

"You are injured, you cannot go on. Lie down and rest. I shall tend to your wound."

The girl twitched slightly as Merlin tied his neckerchief round her arm. She propped herself up against the tree before rubbing her tired eyes. Merlin smiled warmly he was somewhat attracted to her. "I'm Merlin." The girl looked up and cleared her throat.

"I'm Ruth… But no one ever gets to know me that well. They tease me for being different. And because I have red hair."

Merlin gazed at her long locks and smiled.

"I think it's beautiful! You're lucky!"

"No I'm not. You should see how people treat me. One time, the people tried to kill me – only because of a stupid legend stating that all girls with red hair are a sign of the devil. It's not fair. What have I done wrong?"

"Nothing! Tell me, how did you end up here?"

Ruth hesitated. She was afraid to tell. But there was something about Merlin that made her feel safe. Something special.

"My family were killed when our village was attacked by a Griffon. I watched my mum; dad and brother get ripped apart by that foul beast. I was left with nothing. And here I am… What happened to you then Merlin?"

"It's a long story, you couldn't possibly – well…"

"I understand. Some things don't have to be said."

Merlin stared at her hazel eyes again. He wondered whether fate had brought him here to meet this beautiful lady. And she was so caring! He felt a strange feeling in his stomach. Something he had never felt before. It was a nice feeling, a warm one. There was no denying it – He was in love with Ruth!

"I'll stay here with you tonight. To keep you safe,"

"Thank you Merlin. I'm truly grateful!"

Merlin took off his leather jacket and placed it round her cold shoulders. Ruth closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep the pain away. She edged closer to Merlin as the air grew colder. Merlin stayed by her side all day, and all night.

Arthur steadied his horse as the path became uneven and wet. He had been riding for 10 uninterrupted hours. He never saw himself doing all of this for a servant. Arthur's horse stopped dead as the caves drew in. "Come on!" he added. The horse was as still as night. Arthur remembered these caves from 3 years before. He and Merlin were covering themselves in Gyre Berries since the caves were infested with Wilderen. But that was years ago. The Wilderen were all wiped out by 'Trophy Hunters'. Trophy Hunting was something that was invented to keep the woods safe from dangerous beasts. The victorious man or woman would the person that had killed the most creatures. In return they'd get money and a trophy – that's where the name '_Trophy _Hunters' came from. Despite this, Arthur still feared these caves. But fear or no fear, he had to go in. He tied up his horse on the large oak tree and headed into the dark, damp cave. All Arthur could think about was Merlin. Why couldn't he just accept that he and Merlin were so close instead of hiding it all the time? His attention turned to Nancy. Her having magic made him figure out why Merlin had a bond with her. Arthur now found himself thinking back to his childhood. He never really had a proper childhood… Uther was always pressuring him into learning how to fight and write speeches and behave like a king. Maybe that's why he wanted a child of his own so much – yes, to experience being a father but mainly to give his son or daughter a proper childhood. They would be allowed to play with other children and have fun. Unlike Arthur… Who couldn't go outside and play, or just be a child. Instead he was imprisoned in his own 'home' with no mother, no proper father or friends. Arthur's flash of memories made him feel horrible. A pain in his stomach hit him like a brick wall. He began to get angry with himself. He made it his fault that he had no childhood. Although he was an adult, the child within him was angry and tearful. But in a stroke of luck, a light gleamed at the end of the tunnel. The king hurried toward it like it was heaven. Merlin was near, he could sense it!

Ruth woke up in Merlin's safe arms. A warm fuzzy feeling buzzed in her belly.

"Did you sleep alright?"

Merlin gazed at her with his shiny blue eyes. How could Ruth resist them?

"Yes, very well. All thanks to you!"

Merlin blushed. He didn't know what to say.

"Ruth I… Um… I just wanted to say… That…."

He stopped speaking. For some reason he couldn't carry on. Ruth interrupted.

"You know Merlin, I think you're really special. There's something about you.

Merlin blushed yet again.

"I'm not that special Ruth…"

"Yes you are. You're special to me.

Merlin smiled. Ruth attention was drawn to her suddenly healed arm.

"Merlin! You healed me! You must be a fallen angel! How did you do it?"

"Oh, it's just an old remedy – Very old remedy…"

"I feel amazing! Thank you so much. How am I ever to repay you?"

They stared into each other's eyes again. Merlin's full of pride, and Ruth's full of thank. Merlin spoke softly.

"I've thought of something!"

"Me too..."

Slowly Merlin tilted his head at an angle and gave a tender kiss to Ruth's soft lips. They both felt like they were floating on clouds a million miles away. It could've only lasted a few seconds, but to Ruth and Merlin it felt like eternity. They pulled away slowly. No one said anything. They didn't need to. Their eyes said everything – They said 'I love you'.

Arthur whipped the sweat from his brow. He had arrived in Ealdor. The birth place of Merlin. The villagers bowed in the presents of the king. Arthur thanked them kindly. He found himself standing outside a small house with a few chickens and a pig. He knocked on the old brown door and waited for any response. A happy woman cheerfully opened the door. Arthur smiled. "Hunith!" The women smiled back excitedly.

"Arthur, this truly is a pleasant surprise – come in!"

The king ducked underneath the low door frame and admired the house.

"How is everything with you and Gwen?"

"Brilliant! Nothing has really happened back in Camelot so it's nice to spend time with her and the baby."

Hunith was silent for a split second before grinning happily.

"Baby?"

"Yes, she was born a couple of weeks ago."

"Congratulations Arthur! That's fantastic!"

"Thank you! I was also overwhelmed when I was told."

"Certainly! Bringing a child into the world is the best thing imaginable."

"Yes, I couldn't agree more! She really is special…"

"A little girl… How sweet! You must be one proud father!"

"Very, she means the world to me."

"I can see that! What's her name?"

"Nancy."

Hunith laughed.

"That's funny, Merlin always said if he ever had a little girl he'd like to call her Nancy!"

Arthur said nothing he just laughed along to. Hunith's attention was suddenly drawn to Merlin.

"How is Merlin anyway? Staying out of trouble I hope!"

Arthur hesitated. This was a difficult subject to talk about now.

"Actually, I was hoping to find him here… We had… A quarrel."

"Oh no. That's terrible what happened?"

Arthur took a couple of deep breaths before facing Merlin's mother.

"I know…"

These two words were enough for Hunith to understand what was going on. She sighed silently.

"I knew this day would come."

She invited Arthur to sit on the bed beside her. "Tell me what happened."

Arthur lowered his head slightly. He felt ashamed about what he was saying.

"My little girl was ill. So Merlin hurried me to go and see her. But once I got to my chambers her screams shattered the glass and her eyes glowed a bright yellow colour. Obviously I was shocked and didn't understand why it happened and I was scared. Which made me angry. I wasn't angry at Nancy, but Merlin thought I was. So he tried prove to me that magic wasn't bad by revealing himself. Of course I was still shocked about Nancy, but then I found out that Merlin had magic too – it was all too much to take in. I only told him to leave the room so I could think things through and get my head around the whole situation. But Merlin thought differently. And I haven't seen him since. And I feel awful about it. I thought he's most likely to be here with you."

Hunith put Arthur's hands into hers.

"I'm sorry about this Arthur. Merlin is very sensitive. His natural reaction always was to let go of himself. Trust me Arthur, it's not your fault."

"But I can't live with myself knowing that I sent him away."  
"You will find him. I know it!"

"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?"

"Yes, just north of here there is a lake, Merlin used to go there when he was troubled. A lot of precious memories lie there."

Arthur let out a small smile and slowly stood up.

"Thank you Hunith."

He began to leave the house cautiously, Hunith called for him.

"Arthur, please get him to Camelot safely…"

Arthur nodded and headed off yet again to the north to a lake. And hoped that Hunith was right.

Morning broke and the sun was shining through the autumn trees. Merlin was colder than usual. It was strange, it was almost like he was – naked! He lifted the old blanket he bought with him. All was revealed… Merlin was nude, in the woods and absolutely freezing! He reached for his trousers and slid them up his chilled legs. Ruth was still asleep so he tried not to wake her. Merlin looked over his feet and saw that his water case was empty. It was weird because he didn't have any water in it – just ale, for 'emergencies'. Then he remembered, the previous night he and Ruth shared out the last of the ale between them. That was as far as he could remember. Ruth yawned quietly as the birdsong woke her. She too was stark naked. Merlin panicked. "Ruth, what happened last night?" Ruth looked down at herself and pulled the blanket higher to avoid embarrassment. She stuttered slightly as she spoke.

"I don't remember… I hope we didn't… you know…."

"Me too."

Merlin tried to catch his breath. Whether he had sex or not he was still panicked. Merlin and Ruth both had the same expression on their face. They both stared into space hoping that the previous night, they were just hot during their sleep. But both knew what really happened that evening. Ruth was scared. Merlin sensed her fear and cuddled her.

"I'm so sorry Ruth, I was drunk."

"You are not to blame Merlin. No one is."  
A silence fell upon them, it was unsettling. Ruth was the first to speak.

"We should put the past behind us now. What's done is done."

"Yeah."

Merlin made that geeky grin that only Arthur would usually see. Merlin and Ruth hugged each other for comfort. Even if they denied it, they were young and scared. Ruth felt warm inside as Merlin held her tighter. She wanted to stay with him forever. But knew it could never be…

Arthur stared hard at the mud on the ground. "Footprints" he said silently to himself. A huge buzz of excitement filled Arthur's body. They had to be Merlin's footprints. No other person ever came through that part of the woods. He pulled on the horses reins and galloped along the water's edge. He was only minutes away from Merlin. He could tell so easily. The footprints became fresher as Arthur followed them towards the edge of the woods. He hurried his horse. He estimated Merlin was only a few minutes away. The same feeling rushed through his stomach as it did when Nancy was born. It suddenly struck him what he'd say when he found Merlin. I wasn't like he could just confront Merlin and expect him to come back to Camelot. He wasn't the best person at apologizing either! Arthur stopped dead as a nearby twig snapped. He whipped his head around and saw a tall-ish figure standing in front of him with firewood in his arms. Arthur's stomach jumped into his mouth. The figure spoke.

"Arthur?"

The king hesitated.

"Merlin?"


	5. Dreams Can Come True

As Merlin and Arthur walked side by side their silence was growing into painful heartache. No one knew what to say. What could they say? Ruth was trotting on Arthur's horse beside them both. Her vibrant red, curly hair was flowing in the breeze like a bold warrior – well at least that's how Merlin saw her. He was delighted to know that she could come back to Camelot. Arthur saw she was in a bad way and decided that it was only polite to offer his hospitality. This was the only reason Merlin was persuaded to return.

Arthur couldn't handle the silence for much longer. He wanted his friend back so desperately. He mumbled quietly.

"Merlin, I'm sorry. I know you've had a tough time, and I realize how hard it must've been for you. I only shouted at you because everything had come on me so fast."

Merlin continued to be silent. He was either thinking about what Arthur had said, or simply ignoring him. The king couldn't decide. Arthur continued, "In your honour, I have lifted the ban of magic." Merlin's eyes widened and for what seemed like an eternity, their eyes met. Arthur spoke again, "My father had put me in the dark about magic for so long, but now I know how wrong he had been…" Arthur smiled and gestured towards Merlin. "Sometimes people don't choose their destiny!" Merlin let out a faint grin. He took a few deep breaths before talking to Arthur for the first time since his disappearance.

"Sorry…" He whispered.

Arthur frowned in a confused manner.

"What for?"

"Betraying you – Hiding my magic."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I can't imagine what I'd do if… I was in your shoes."

To Arthur's amazement, he saw Merlin's hand stretched out in front of him. Arthur took hold of it. Merlin spoke.

"Thank you."

Arthur had a small sigh of relief. He placed his free hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"It's good to have you back, old friend!"

Merlin giggled

"You're still a Dollophead though!"

"Watch it! I'm still the king!"

Arthur continued to walk ahead to try and catch up with Ruth. Merlin spoke under his breath.

"God help us all…"

"_Merlin_!"

* * *

Arthur gently knocked on Gaius's door. "Come in!" Said a familiar voice. Arthur cautiously entered the physician's room. Gaius looked somewhat disappointed.

"Arthur! I was expecting someone el-… Never mind. How was the hunting trip?"

"Yeah, about that hunting trip…"

Gaius frowned. An awkward silence fell upon them.

"Arthur, is something the matter?"

The king smiled as he spoke.

"I think someone's here to see you…"

He stepped aside to reveal a teary-eyed Merlin. Gaius couldn't believe his eyes. He began to laugh with joy. Merlin ran towards him, arms wide.

"My boy!" Gaius shouted. "Don't ever leave like that again!"

"I'm so sorry Gaius… I promise I won't ever do it again!" Merlin voice was tired and distort. The reality of how much people had missed him was starting to blossom. He held onto Gaius like a baby on its mother. Arthur's heart warmed slightly at the sight of the father/son like relationship. Something he never truly experienced with Uther.

Merlin was the first to pull away from the warm embrace. He pivoted on his heels and gestured towards Ruth.

"Gaius, this is my friend Ruth. She's still unwell and will need your help."

Ruth smiled shyly. She felt somewhat awkward about entering someone else's home uninvited.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ruth."

Merlin stood beside Ruth in an almost protective manner.

"She can have my bed."

Gaius smiled in acknowledgement. Arthur stepped forward and places a hand on Ruth's cold shoulder.

"You'd better get some sleep; I know you have been through a lot."

Ruth slowly made her way into the room with Merlin close at her side. Arthur cleared his throat and interrupted once again.

"Wait! Merlin, I'd like you to come with me…"

Merlin's heart was beating fast. Maybe Arthur hadn't forgiven him after all. What was he going to do to him? The young warlock uneasily made his way to the king. Gaius patted him on the back as he walked past. But Merlin still feared his fate no matter how 'un-death -sentence-like' the setting was. His eyes wandered as he followed Arthur down the long hallway. He still had no idea what was going on – until he found himself outside the King and Queen's chambers.

"Arthur, what's going on?"

"I want you to tell Gwen about your magic. It's better she heard it coming from you."

"She doesn't know about me?"

"No, she thinks you ran away because I caught you putting the Treapon in Nancy's bottle."

"She knows about Nancy then?"

"Yes."

Merlin took a few deep breaths and hung his head. His hands were shaking uncontrollably. It was hard enough telling Arthur about his gifts. But Gwen was queen now. She could still sentence him to death if she wished. Arthur put a comforting hand on Merlin's back and reassured him.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure no harm comes to you."

"I don't understand – you lifted the ban of magic. Why doesn't she know?"

"The ban lift wasn't only for you. For our daughters' sake – we had to protect her."

Merlin nodded. But before he had any time to verbally reply, Arthur had opened the doors to his chambers. Merlin froze. It was like he had completely forgotten who and where he was. Nevertheless, Merlin found the strength to step inside and look Gwen square in the eyes. She was so innocent and clueless.

"Is everything alright Merlin?" Gwen said worriedly.

"Yes… I wanted to tell you something."

"Okay, what might that be?"

Merlin tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. Gwen frowned at the sight of Merlin's discomfort.

"Is everything alright?"

No. It wasn't alright. Merlin was experiencing a feeling like no other. He became short of breath and was finding it almost impossible to stand on his own two feet. He began to stumble. Arthur stepped forwards and caught Merlin before any damage was created. He guided Merlin to the bed and carefully sat him down on the mattress. Arthur put his hand on his back.

"Merlin it's okay – just tell her."

Gwen stood up from the chair and walked towards them.

"Tell me what?"

"I… I… can…_ugh_! _Come on_! It's… Icandothingsthatothers… _ugh_!"

"Merlin, slow down! Just breathe!"

"He's not giving birth Gwen!" Arthur said jokingly.

"I know that Arthur!"

Merlin managed to let free a small giggle. But out of the bloom, his conscience perked up. It was something at that moment in time that made him feel so safe. The words flew from his lips like an eagle in the breeze.

"I have magic."

The room fell silent. Yet, Merlin felt no stress. It was like a massive demon had let go of his body and freed him from a lifelong burden. The silence was only to be broken by Gwen. It was a response no one had been expecting – especially Merlin. Laughter. Gwen was laughing.

"I'm sorry Gwen… For keeping it from you."

"Is that what this is about? You having magic?"

"Yes…"

"Merlin – I know!"

"What?"

"I had it figured a few years ago. Do you remember the poisoned chalice you drank from to save Arthur?"

"How could I forget?"

"You were mumbling words in a foreign language – the old religion."

"How do you know about the old religion?"

"I don't, but someone I knew did – a long time ago – an outsider."

"Who?"

"I couldn't say. I made a promise."

Merlin felt like jumping for joy. His secret was out. And it felt great! He wasn't going to die! A tear of relief escaped from his socket. Arthur giggled at the sight of it.

"Are you alright Merlin?"

"Never better – I feel amazing! Thank you so much, it means so much to me. All my life I've been waiting for people to accept me for being who I am. Words couldn't possibly describe how I feel…"

"Merlin, what did I say about the whole speeches thing?"

Arthur 'play-punched' Merlin in the shoulder as they began to laugh together.

* * *

Ruth sat with her head in-between her legs taking deep breaths. Gaius mixed some liquids together in a bottle before giving to Ruth.

"Don't worry, it's just a virus. You'll be fine in a few days."

"It doesn't feel like a virus."

Gaius asked the Ruth to open her mouth. He placed a metal rod on her tongue and examined her carefully.

"What are you feeling at this moment in time – explain it to me."

"Well, there's my headache and nausea, and dizziness."

"Any chest pains at all?"

"None."

"Strange… I have no logical explanation. We'll have to see what tomorrow brings. But for now get some sleep."

"Thank you."

Ruth slowly walked up the step into Merlin's room. She had no idea what was wrong.

Meanwhile, Gaius was flicking through the pages of his medical book. He couldn't find anything to explain Ruth's state. "Wait a minute!" Gaius grabbed a cleaner looking book from underneath a pile of sheets. Once again he flicked through the pages trying to find an answer. He stopped on a page and quickly read the contents. The old man removed his glasses and sunk back into his chair for a quick 'breather'. The answer was starring him in the face the whole time. Was he going blind? No, but the pieces fitted together – the image however, no emotion could possibly yet decide.

* * *

"Arthur?"

"Yes Merlin?" The young wizard scratched his head. "What are you doing to her?"

"Dressing her. Would you rather she'd be naked? Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Yes, I'm well aware that my clothes will stink of pee forever. But what I was asking was _why_ you have put Nancy in knitted chainmail?"

"Doesn't she look fierce though?"

"No."

Despite the banter, Nancy wanted to be more involved. Merlin was startled when he saw his neckerchief begin to rise up towards his face. Arthur began to laugh. The king gestured at the red fabric around Merlin's neck.

"She really seems to like that thing!"

"I said she could have one when she's older."

"Why?"

"She likes it!"

"Or she really hates it…"

"Arthur, you just said she liked it."

"Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

Arthur gently scooped Nancy up from the bed and cradled her in his safe arms. Merlin watched them and felt a tingly feeling in his stomach. He continued to gaup at the sight before him. Arthur spoke:

"I'm taking her to Gaius if you want to come."  
"Why? Is she ill?"

"No, just making sure everything is okay. Do you want to come?"

"Yeah, sure."

To Merlin's amazement, he saw Arthurs arms stretched out in front of him as he held Nancy. Merlin took the sleeping baby from his arms and began to walk down the hallway. He felt absolutely amazing! It's not often a servant is allowed to even breathe in the same room as a royal infant!

"Oh no!" Arthur said under his breath.

"What is it?"

The king pointed to a brunette knight walking in the opposite direction.

"Gwaine…"

The knight spotted the opportunity and pounced on his prey.

"Afternoon Arthur, Merlin. What brings you to these beautiful halls today?"

Arthur gave Gwaine a stern look and tried to lecture him.

"Gwaine – stop being an idiot."

"I'm not an idiot. Trust me. If I told you that the best way to a laddie's heart is through her 'you know what', you'd say: 'Sir Gwaine, that is utter genius.' Then I'd say 'one true remedy'."

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"Gwaine, are you drunk?"

"I believe so."

"Then go away!"

They began to walk away, it was almost too good to be true –it was… Gwaine turned back around and watched Merlin walk with the baby in his arms.

"You look like a natural! I should get you one for your birthday!"

"Errrm… I don't think so!"

"No, I didn't mean it like _that_."

"Gwaine!"

"Alright I'm going!"

The king and servant looked at each other with an unreadable expression. Gwaine was hard enough to deal with when he was sober. But not even God could help them when he was drunk. They had only themselves to thank for this 'brief' encounter.

They continued to walk down the hallway with the baby close to Merlin's chest. It wasn't long before they found themselves outside Gaius' chambers. Merlin slowly entered the room and look around for Gaius sign of entrance approval. But the old physician was nowhere to be seen.

"Gaius, are you in?" Asked Merlin.

"I'm in here with Ruth."

His voice was coming from Merlin's bedchamber. The servant handed the Princess back to her father and headed into his room cautiously. Gaius was sat on Merlin's bed with his hand on Ruth's back. The young girl looked over her shoulder and saw a confused Merlin standing in the doorway.

"Sorry Merlin, I didn't know you were here."

Gaius interrupted.

"I'll leave you to it."

And with that, the old man left the room closing the door behind him. Merlin was only left even more confused.

"Ruth what's going on?"

"Something unexpected… It's…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry Merlin. I didn't intend for this."

Ruth was verging on tears. Merlin hugged her gently.

"Ruth, just tell me what's wrong."

The girl pulled away from the hug. She wiped her eyes and stared at the floor whilst she spoke.

"Merlin – I'm pregnant."

She continued to look at the floor for a good five seconds. But she felt the need to look up as Merlin did not reply. As her eyes caught his, Merlin tried to speak but he couldn't.

"Ruth… Is… You're… I'm… What?"

Before Ruth could react, Merlin hit the floor with an almighty force. Ruth knelt down and began to weep once again.

"Merlin? Speak to me. Merlin?"

Her desperate attempts were no use. The sorcerer simply wouldn't wake up…

* * *

***The next chapters are going to be quite different to what I've written so far. Also I have only just realized how to add the _ Thingy!***


	6. Bye, Bye Baby

"No, no, _no!_" Morgana threw the bottle across the room and flopped back on to the bed in which she saw the awful dream. This couldn't be possible could it? Another child to be born within the castle walls? She hadn't yet thought of a plan to rid Arthur of his heir, but Merlin – He had killed her sister and tried to poison Morgana herself. He did not deserve such happiness. She had to stop this. No matter what the cost.

Morgana called for her accomplices. The creature hobbled over to her bedside and waited for more. "This has gone too far! I will not allow _Merlin_ to live happily ever after. He must pay the price for what he has done. Don't worry Aithusa; I will insure that his joy won't last…

* * *

"Is he alright?"

"It's just the shock Arthur. He'll be fine."

Merlin's vision was returning. He could hear Gaius and Arthur trying to fully bring him round. But then he felt Ruth's warm hand on his heart. Her embrace was so inviting! So, beautiful!

"Ruth? What happened?" Merlin's voice was faint and tired. Arthur rolled his eyes and interrupted.

"Oh, it's nice to see you too Merlin!"

"Sorry, I'm not quite 'with it' yet… What happened?" Ruth answered:

"You don't remember?"

Merlin put his head down and thought hard. But nothing was coming. He looked up to Ruth for inspiration, but as he stared into her hazel eyes – he remembered. The ever widening smile said it all. Merlin was finally going to be a father! The whole room was now filled with smiles. The atmosphere was only to be broken by Gwen bursting in through the door.

"Is everything okay? Is Merlin alright?"

Arthur laughed and tried to hide a small tear of joy.

"Yes he's alright! Everything is brilliant!"

Merlin was still overjoyed and couldn't control his speech.

"I can't believe it! I'm going to be a father! Me, a _dad_!"

He sat up for the first time and hugged Ruth like never before. Arthur and Gaius decided to leave the young lovers alone. They 'grabbed' Gwen on the way out of the room and stood outside the door. Gaius spoke:

"Gwen, sorry but – may I speak to Arthur alone?"

"Certainly, I'll be in my quarters if you need me."

"Thank you."

The king and physician said a quick goodbye to their queen. Gaius felt rude about asking her to leave but the situation was dyer.

"Arthur, I just wanted to ask for your help…"

"For what exactly?"

"Ruth, she is not well. And as happy as I may be for her, I don't know whether she'll make it through the pregnancy."

Arthur was stood still in shock. He didn't know what to say or how to feel. He shook his head.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She claims that she encountered bandits, but she has felt nothing but nausea ever since she met them. I thought it was just her body adapting to the embryo at first. But I think it is more than that."

"Gaius, what are you suggesting?"

"I don't know – that's why I need your help. I need you to be there for Merlin. If anything does happen to Ruth, I don't know how he'll ever forgive himself."

Arthur looked heartbroken. Even though he won't admit it – Merlin is his closest friend and to see him hurt makes Arthur feel awful. And now the king was a father himself, he couldn't even imagine losing a child. He sighed as he spoke.

"You're not going to tell Merlin…"

"I don't want to upset him."

Arthur was angry with Gaius. Merlin deserved to know what was going on.

Later that day, Merlin returned to his normal duties. Cleaning, fetching potions, running errands, and of course serving the king. Arthur watched Merlin prance around gaily whilst cleaning he was cleaning the royal chambers. It saddened him to know that his friend's happiness could be wiped away anytime. His heart was telling him to let merlin know about Ruth, but his head told him to let nature do what it had to do. Maybe he could drop some 'not so obvious' hints? Or not…

"Merlin, how long have you known Ruth?"

Merlin whipped his brow with the cloth and leant on the table.

"Nearly three months. But somehow, I feel as if I have known her my whole life. I don't know what it was or how it came to be but – It just, clicked."

"It all seems a bit _fast_ doesn't it?"

"Perhaps… but I promised I'd take care of her and make sure that no harm came to her."

Arthur put on a smile. He appreciated Merlin's care but, now it made him feel even worse than before. Merlin would be absolutely heartbroken if he found out. There was no way he Arthur could tell him now.

"Oh and Merlin, I never managed to say, congratulations!"

The same smile escaped from Merlin's mouth. The excitement flowed through his veins giving him that warm sensation in his belly again.

"Thank you!"

Arthur walked over to merlin. Even though it pained him to say it – just in case something happened to Ruth, he said it.

"You're going to be the world's greatest father Merlin. You deserve it."

"You mean it?"

"I mean it."

This was all very new to Merlin. He had never seen Arthur treat him this way before, treating him like a _brother_.

* * *

It was three months later in the dead of night that Morgana had successfully reached the Camelot border. She was no stranger to the woods. After all, she had spent most of her life growing up in them. Uther would take her out into them to help ease the loss of her 'father'. Well, it looked like the lying; pig of a king had some uses after all!

She commanded for her horse to keep moving, but suddenly, a human figure was obstructing the path ahead. Morgana smiled evilly and dismounted. She welcomed the young girl and thanked her for a 'favour.'

"Have I done well milady?"

"That and more, Emily! I hear the princess is more vulnerable than ever."

"Yes milady. The queen has my trust and allows me to see the princess regally."

"Excellent! I will assure that she will not have many breaths following her near first."

Emily began to frown. She had something to say but didn't want to say it.

"Is something troubling you Emily?"

"Yes, a serving boy – Merlin. He suspects me. He keeps on asking me why I am always around the Pendragon infant. I mean, I might be nothing. It could be because that he is going to be a father himself..."

Morgana stopped and looked very alarmed.

"So my dreams were true… I wasn't certain until now, but I dreamt _Merlin_ was cradling his own child with all the happiness imaginable. But after what he did to me, I can't seem to put my mind at rest that he is getting anything good out of it. Emily, can you to me another favour?"

"Certainly milady."

"Find Merlin and his precious red-head, drug them and bring them to my lair tomorrow at dusk. Then, I shall return for this princess."

Emily curtsied and began to walk back to the castle leaving Morgana happy with her achievements. She couldn't wait to get her revenge. There was always something about Merlin that was different. Never once did she manage to put her finger on it, but it seemed she'd only dwell on his imperfections. But what was about to hit Merlin, would never leave his mind ever again…

* * *

Gwen was sitting in the old chair with Nancy safely sucking from the bottle in her arms. Merlin happily studied them from the corner. He should've probably wondered more on where Arthur was but he couldn't help but watch them in awe.

"Gwen…"

"Yes Merlin."

"Is it hard?"

"What?"

"Everything – being a parent."

There was a long pause. Gwen was now smiling at her baby. They had a special bond, mother and daughter. It was inevitable! But was it hard?

"It's hard but – rewarding! But Merlin, once you hear that first cry, that sense of overwhelming joy just completes you. Let me tell you this – nothing can compare to it!"

The words sunk into Merlin like he was quicksand. The excitement was unbearable! All he wanted to do was hold his baby in his arms. _His_ son or daughter.

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

"We had some ideas, but at the moment it's too early to think about it."

"It's never too early Merlin! So what are the ideas?"

"For a girl we thought that Luna-May was sweet. But for a boy, we couldn't decide between Xander and Rueben."

"I've never heard of Xander before…"

"It means 'Warrior' and 'head-strong."

"I like it!"

Of course Xander wasn't Merlin's choice of name. He wanted something a little more normal. He himself wasn't blessed with particularly normal name. Even though Merlin was one to believe that name doesn't affect status, Xander just sounded a bit like a nobleman who is a bit up his own ass with a terribly annoying accent and lots of money.

Gwen slowly started to shift from her position uncomfortably.

"Are you alright Gwen?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just need to go and quickly see to something, can you look after Nancy for a bit?" She stretched her arms out signalling for Merlin to take the baby from her.

"Of course!"

"Thank you, I won't be long."

Merlin daren't not ask what she was attending to. She had been having troubles ever since Nancy was born. Womanly issues… He decided not to think about it! But as he looked down at Nancy, his heart filled with joy and warmth. Her ice blue eyes always seemed to make him melt with just one glance. And as they turned a majestic golden yellow, a rose began to float from a nearby vase and then hover over Merlin's head. This made Merlin wonder whether his child would be like him. It was honestly all too much to think about. Names, appearance, magic. It all seemed to puzzle him even further. But it did also excite him – doing dad stuff! Once again he looked at Nancy and began to speak to her. "Life is going to be really good to you. And I hope that you won't be as idiotic as your dad! But seriously, with your mother and father, you're going to have a great life…" He kept on talking to her. It was really sweet, but of course it was only to be ruined by fate. An unfamiliar hand was now placed over his mouth with some kind of cloth covering it. The blonde woman grabbed the now crying child and quickly placing her on the ground, leaving Merlin to slam down on to the floor. She grabbed his ankles and dragged him into the halls, being careful not to disturb any guards on her way.

Later that evening Arthur and Gwen returned to their chambers to hear the sound of their daughter wailing. Gwen quickly picked her up from the floor and cuddled her. Arthur was running around the crazily trying to find Merlin.

"Where the hell is Merlin?"

"I don't know Arthur, why would he just leave her like that?"

"He wouldn't… He loves her as much as I do."

The king and queen went into an utter state of panic. But all of a sudden, Nancy's eyes started to repeatedly flash gold with magic, but – nothing was happening. She was still screaming at the top of her lungs but there was no sign of damage or any evidence whatsoever.

"Arthur, what's she doing?"

"I don't know! I'm getting Gaius, this is all too strange."

He burst through the door and ran as fast as his legs would carry him down towards Gaius' chambers. The old physician was also pacing around crazily like he was looking for something, when he was startled by the king rampaging into the room in a complete an utter frenzy.

"Goodness Arthur, you startled me!"

"Sorry, but Merlin has disappeared. Guinevere left him with Nancy and when I got back, Nancy was crying on the floor and Merlin was gone."

"I can't find Ruth… I was about to deliver her a sleeping draft and she was gone."

"This is no coincidence. They must have been abducted."

"What are we going to do Arthur?"

"I'll fetch some knights and send out a search party. Hopefully we can find them before any damage is done…"

* * *

The room was dark. The boy's eyes were adjusting to the dim light. He found himself with his arms above his head tied to the ceiling. But then, he saw the most horrific sight he'd ever seen. Ruth was curled up in a ball with blood on her head. She was still breathing but the shock completely ruined Merlin. He began to shout to her. "Ruth! Can you hear me? _Ruth_?" He was broken. But then the girl slowly started to turn towards him. She was mumbling, but to Merlin, the sounds of her words were magical!

"Merlin… Wha – Where am I?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to get us out of here. No matter what it takes…"

"OW!" Ruth grabbed her small bump and hunched over in pain. Merlin's heart began to thump in his chest.

"What happened, are you alright?"

"No. It hurts… Merlin help me."

She began to cry. But Merlin was too weak. He tried using magic – oh how he tried… But he was simply too weak. Merlin was also sharing his tears. He couldn't bear to see Ruth the way she was. It broke his heart. They both prayed for someone to help them. They just wanted to be safe at home, before the culprit showed up…

* * *

Arthur was motionless. He was just lying on the bed tucked in a foetal position. He knew exactly who had taken Merlin and Ruth. There was only one person who would be cold enough to do such a thing – Morgana and Arthur feared this. Not for himself but, for Guinevere and their daughter. This is how Morgana worked. She'd hit you where it hurt, and cleverly she knew how awful Arthur would feel if any harm came to Ruth and/or the unborn child. She knew it'd break him down. And thanks to Emily, Morgana knew all about her 'so called' brother's soft spot for babies, and Merlin's. And as soon as Arthur was broken, she would strike.

Gwen entered the room and saw the state of her husband. She gently laid on the bed beside him and cuddled him. Arthur gently spoke.

"I don't understand why she has to do this. It's me she wants. But still she wants to hurt innocent people."

"It's awful. I can remember when she used to be so sweet and selfless. It is hard to imagine now…"  
"I hope no harm comes to Merlin and Ruth."

"The search parties are nonstop. They'll be found and returned home, I promise."

"I should've gone with the knights, what if they get into trouble?"

"Arthur, they are knights of Camelot, trained by you. Nothing can stop them. Not even Morgana!"

Gwen hugged him tighter. Arthur could feel her warmth pass through his body. It made him smile.

"Gwen, do you think she wants Nancy?"

"I don't know. Hopefully she will find a heart and see that Nancy is different. But somehow I feel she wants more than our daughter.

* * *

Merlin's wrists were bleeding now. The bindings were too tight and he was in extreme pain. He didn't want to show Ruth his pain. He didn't want to upset her even more than she already was.

"Merlin why are we here?"

"Someone doesn't like how Arthur's ruling Camelot, and they have not done for some years now. We are here because she knows Arthur will come and find us. She want's Arthur."

"What's her name?"

Before Merlin could say anything, Ruth's question was answered by the very person herself.

"Morgana. I am the Lady Morgana."

Merlin laughed insultingly. "Enough of the 'Lady'."

Morgana stared at him and gave him an intimidating look.

"I'd hold your tongue if I were you. You'll never know what misfortune could come to your precious girl and the child within her."

"I – I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Oh don't play stupid with me Merlin; I know everything about this child and your happiness. You don't deserve it Merlin. After everything I have suffered in the hands of you…"

"Do you really think I did those things for nothing? Look at yourself. You used to have friends, somewhere decent to live, and people who cared about you. But then you decided to use your powers for all the wrong reasons. And look how you've ended up. Homeless, poor, selfish and friendless. It must be great fun!"

Morgana slapped him on the cheek, drew a knife from her belt and positioned it by his neck. Ruth gasped in horror at the sight of it. But remained silent as Morgana spoke.

"It's time people with magic fought back. For years sorcerers have been killed and hated for no honest reason, do you really think I can stand by and watch my kin die? I am trying to strike a blow to Camelot and Arthur and show them that people like me have just as many rights as any other person."

"You honestly think that you are sending the right message by killing more innocent people? And on top of that, you threaten to kill a young, pregnant girl just for fun?"

"I never said it was for fun…"

"Then why are you doing this? Huh? _Tell me!_"

Morgana slowly slid the blade across his stomach leaving him with a deep cut. Merlin was screaming in pain. Ruth put her head in her knees and cried hysterically. Morgana huffed at her wailing began to walk towards her angrily.

"Shut up you pathetic little swine! I don't want to have to listen to you." Ruth looked into her eyes with fury.

"You don't have to. Let us go and you won't have to listen to us anymore."

"I'm not going to let you go! I have so much more planned for you! But you're right; I don't want to listen to you anymore. Luckily you are easy to dispose of you…"

With those words Morgana hovered the blade across her stomach and smiled evilly. Merlin panicked and began to struggle in his bindings.

"YOU LEAVE HER ALONE MORGANA! SHE'S DONE NOTHING TO YOU!"

"Oh, and here he is the protective daddy-to-be. You surprise me Merlin. Aren't you supposed to be the 'clumsy idiotic servant' who can't even look after himself?"

"You can think what you want of me Morgana. But don't you _dare _hurt Ruth…"

Morgana's eyes flashed gold and the blade was left hovering on its own accord by Ruth' stomach. She started to walk towards Merlin to look him in the eye properly. And Merlin returned the glare right back at her.

"Merlin, I appreciate the whole 'heroic male figure' but, it's just making you look even more ridiculous than you already are."

"Ruth has done nothing wrong. Let her go. It's me you want – isn't it?"

"No! Don't tell me she has done nothing wrong! She is baring you a child. A child that you do not deserve…" Morgana was attempting to speak, but Merlin interrupted.

"But do you know what Morgana? This baby was an accident. But it was the best bloody accident that has ever happened to me. I will fight to keep it that way. And I will fight willingly."

There was a deathly pause. Morgana began to smirk. But Merlin looked at her blankly.

"Shame, I would've enjoyed killing you Merlin… But I thought it would be better for you to watch this."

"Wha-?"

It all seemed to be in slow motion. Like a watching yourself fall in a dream. But before Merlin could figure out what Morgana was on about – he saw it. He watched the dagger plunge into Ruth's stomach. He watched the girl's last tear fall down her cheek and heard her faint cry as her breath left her. And as she fell on to the ground, Merlin saw the one he loved and his baby have their life stolen form the in a single second. One's life hadn't even begun. Merlin was screaming at the top of his lungs. His words were unreadable as they were drowned out by his tears. Morgana simply smiled at her handy work and walked out of the room proudly. The bindings on Merlin's wrists were then torn by her magic. And he fell to the ground unable to move from the pain. He couldn't even reach Ruth. He didn't care about his wrists bleeding or the deep wound across his abdomen. All he cared about was Ruth. No physical pain could outdo that he felt in his heart. He hated himself for getting Ruth pregnant, he hated himself for running away, he hated himself for never being able to hold his baby for the first time and he hated himself for causing Ruth's death. Merlin simply laid on the floor and waited for death to come. Surely it was the best thing for him…


	7. Heartache - I Can't Cope

**Okay, this chapter has taken a really long time. I'm so sorry! I have been caught up in my GCSE's so I've had little time to work on this fic. It might seem a bit 'her there and everywhere' but hopefully you'll enjoy it!**

* * *

She waited for days. She longed to see him again. But Nancy knew something bad had happened. She could feel Merlin's pain — his suffering. She'd tried to warn her mother and father. But they simply couldn't understand. They couldn't recognize her new wails from the others. Nancy knew it wasn't their fault. But the sheer terror of Merlin's discomfort outwitted her sympathies. After all, she was _just_ a baby.

For the thousandth time, Gwen cradled her on the bed to try and seize her crying. Nothing was working. "Arthur, I think she's ill. This isn't normal for her." Arthur gently put his hand on her tiny forehead.

"She's not running a temperature. I don't know what the matter is."

Arthur sat beside Gwen and ran his hands through his hair.

"What's wrong Arthur?"

The king sighed and sat still for a moment, then continued. "I'm supposed to be her father yet; I can't even look after her properly without my servant here. What does that make me?"

Gwen put a single arm around his back to comfort him. He was clearly stressed out from everything that had happened.

"It's not your fault. We'll take her to Gaius and find out what's wrong. Everything is going to be alright."

"What about Merlin and Ruth?"

"The search parties will find them. They'll both come home safe and sound. Don't worry. Merlin will keep Ruth safe."

* * *

After hours of dragging himself along, Merlin caved in to the pain. He'd been trawling through the forest for almost a day. But his knees were too weak to carry him anymore. He fell to the ground and began to cry again. He felt pathetic. All those prophecies about becoming the greatest warlock ever known, and there he was — crying, curled up on the wet floor. He'd always known that Morgana was evil, but he never knew she was cold-hearted enough to kill an innocent girl and her unborn child. Merlin felt terrible about leaving Ruth's body behind. She deserved a proper burial. But there was no way Merlin could bring her with him, he could barely bring himself. He began to remember all the good times he shared with Ruth…

"_Merlin! Quick, come here!" _

"_What is it Ruth?" _

_She placed his hand on small bump and smiled at him. Merlin returned the smile as he felt something truly magical._ _He didn't know what to think or say. It was so alien. But as soon as his pale hand made contact with Ruth's stomach, he felt the movements and kicks of his child. Merlin couldn't help but release a goofy grin. He'd waited for this moment his whole life - now here it was!_

"_I think they recognize their daddy!" Ruth said with a dainty smile. But Merlin didn't reply. He continued with the smiling, tracing their baby's movement, as it drew a picture of their future. _

_/ _

_As they laid in bed together, Merlin rolled over and spooned her, one hand rubbing her stomach._

"_I've got it!" He said with excitement in his voice._

"_What?" Ruth rolled over to face him._

"_A boys name."_

"_Really? Surprise me!"_

"_Felix Ambrosius."_

_Ruth was puzzled at first. It wasn't the most amazing name on earth. But she was enlightened when Merlin explained it to her._

"_It means happy. And I want our child to be happy, whatever might happen."_

_/_

"_Ruth, you'll never guess what!" Merlin caught up with her as she walked down the castle halls. _

"_What?" She asked with a raised eyebrow._

"_Arthur wants us to dine with him!"_

"_Seriously?"_

"_A congratulations dinner. In his honour."_

_Ruth laughed._

"_Is he ill?"_

"_I'm looking into it…"_

_/_

The memories were somehow making Merlin worse. The tears were falling on to the ground beside him. It was an indescribable feeling. If anything, it felt like a burning hole was passing through his heart right up to his head. What would his mother think? She'd always had the ability to see right through him. What would she think? He started shouting. Even he didn't know why. "HELP! SOMEBODY, PLEASE! I CAN'T BREATHE! HELP! ARTHUR!" It was like watching himself from someone else's point of view — being detached from his body. He tried to stop himself from hyperventilating. But it took everything he had left in him. Merlin was possibly going insane. Now his body was trembling. What was wrong with him? He started hearing voices in the distance.

"Merlin… Merlin!"

Then, it was black.

* * *

Gaius was gently feeling Nancy's body. Arthur and Gwen were watching worriedly from the side-lines. They had done the best they could for their daughter. If anything – too much. It was heart-breaking to see her suffer.

"I can't find anything wrong with her. This is most unusual…"

"Gaius, she hasn't stopped crying for hours. It has to be something." Arthur said with a slight tinge of anger in his voice.

"Maybe it's something to do with her magic…" Gwen said unconfidently. She didn't want to promote the idea. But there was some truth in her accusations. Gaius reach over the bench for an old book covered in papers. He flicked through the pages and ran a single finger across each page until he found something relatable to Nancy's symptoms.

"Remarkable!"

"What is it Gaius?" Gwen asked.

"From what I can see, it seems to be that Nancy is communicating with… Merlin. She's trying to warn us."

Arthur grew impatient.

"Warn us about what? Why is she crying like this?"

"Merlin's in danger. And she can feel his pain... She's calling for help."

And without hesitation, Arthur was running to the door faster than you could say anything. Gwen shouted to him.

"Arthur! Where are you going?"

"You heard Gaius. Merlin's in danger."

The king continued to run out of the room.

Not much was known after his rampage. The only thing Gwen knew about it was that Arthur had left Camelot with a bunch of knights and expectations to return within a week or two. Where was he going? Why was he taking so long? Gwen didn't like to think about it. She'd spend her passing days doing some paperwork and counseling and of course looking after her daughter. But when she needed a rest and time to think, Nancy would spend some time with Elyan and his love.

* * *

Finally, after a week and a half of searching Arthur returned. Gwen ran down the stairs and right into the courtyard. She threw her arms around him and held on. Something wasn't right. Arthur was emotionless. His face was completely blank.

"Arthur?"

"Merlin's gone."

"What?" Gwen stared at him puzzled. Arthur spoke, this time with more sorrow.

"We couldn't find them. They're gone…"

Arthur began to walk into the castle with his head hung low. Gwen stood still in shock for a moment. She couldn't believe it. Merlin and Ruth were gone? She excused the knights and ran after her husband. They met in the throne room where Arthur was slouching in his throne. "Arthur, what's happened to them?" Gwen stood beside him and waited for a response.

"The knights and I have searched the kingdom, and then beyond that. Merlin and Ruth were nowhere to be seen."

"What about their kidnappers?"

"What, Morgana?"

"Morgana?"

"Don't be surprised, this is the sort of thing she'd do. She'll threaten to kill Ruth to and force Merlin to tell her information."

"But, surely Merlin will use his magic against her?"

"I doubt it. He kept it quite from me. He's not exactly going to be open with her."

Arthur's voice was become hoarser by the second. It made Gwen feel terrible inside. Even if he wouldn't admit it, the kind was trying so hard to hold back his tears.

"They'll be okay. Merlin stronger than people think. Its Ruth I'm worrying about…" Gwen put one hand on her head as the realization of Ruth's danger hit her. Arthur returned the worried look as they both shared the same horrific thoughts. Things no parents would want to think about.

* * *

Merlin woke with sweat dripping down his forehead. It was strange; this wasn't where he was previously. He was in the forest… but now, he was lying on some animal fur, in a rocky passage. He sat up for a moment, but then winced from the pain in his lower back.

"Relax young warlock, you're badly injured." Spoke an unforgettable voice.

Merlin stared into the glowing yellow eyes and smiled. "Kilgharrah. It's good to see you!"

The great dragon bowed his head slightly in approval.

"It is a shame that we had to meet like this. But I couldn't ignore your distress."

It was all too strange for Merlin. His memory was slowly being sparked back to life but, he tried not to dwell on what was coming back to him.

Merlin stared at his bruised wrists. How would that go unnoticed by Gaius? He'd have to explain _everything._ And then he'd have to sit through everybody's apologies, and 'comfort' talks. Even the thought of it made him well up. The dragon noticed his sadness and questioned him.

"What is the matter young warlock?"

Merlin sniffed. "It's Ruth…"

"The red-haired girl?" Kilgharrah frowned.

"Yes… Morgana killed her." A single tear escaped from his socket. Yet he showed no facial movement. He just stared blankly into space.

"Merlin, I've warned you about the witch many times, she _cannot _be trusted. You have had the chance to kill her."

Merlin continued to stare. What was going on in his head was unknown. Not even the Great Dragon could suss it out. It was like looking at a brick wall. He was so still and lost. Only a small murmur managed to pass through his pale lips.

"She killed our unborn baby…" Merlin quickly wiped the ever falling tears to try and hide them. But remaining expressionless.

"She was with child?" Kilgharrah was baffled. He watched the boy as he lay back down and hid his face. The dragon spoke gently.

"Merlin – you are the _last_ dragon lord. And you have always destined to be so. For you to have a son would corrupt your future. Morgana was just a placement to stop it."

Merlin sat back up. He looked the dragon in the eyes with an angry complexion. He swallowed the pain before facing Kilgharrah.

"I had a son?" Merlin continued to stare into his golden eyes, waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry Merlin. I understand this must be hard for you. But, even you know the consequences of having such a powerful destiny."

Merlin shook his head in denial. He couldn't believe what the dragon was saying. Destiny has said that he wasn't allowed to love. Destiny had said that he'd be forever alone. And destiny had said that Merlin, would never father a child.

The wizard felt his heart beat faster and his breathing became rapid. What was happening? Why was this happening to him? He began to shout again. "I CAN'T BREATHE. I CAN'T BRE…"

"Sleep young warlock. Sleep…"

Merlin stopped shouting and slowly closed his eyes. He'd never felt so peaceful. His mind just went blank and he ever so quickly, fell asleep."

* * *

Camelot was sleepy. Merlin's disappearance had taken its toll on the entire kingdom. Gaius had to tend to patients alone, the tavern was dull, the people would miss his daily jokes, the knights were quiet, and Gwen struggled trying to juggle Nancy and the kingdom. But Arthur? He couldn't think straight. It was all so confusing. Why would a man like Merlin – with his abilities, singlehandedly back down to the likes of Morgana. He just wouldn't! Arthur knew Merlin wasn't dead. There was no way that he could be dead. The king spent hours trying to figure out what was going on, which meant Gwen would often find him asleep in unusual places. But she too would worry about what'd happened. Not about Merlin, but about Ruth. Everyone had seemed to have forgotten that she was pregnant. Gwen had known what it was like to be in Ruth's situation, and she knew how hard it was to continue to be sane. But with all the horrible possibilities that could be, the queen found herself constantly worrying and stressing over uncertain things.

The Pendragon family was certainly falling on the scale of hope. Nancy was beginning to wean and finding the right nutrition was extremely tiring. The king and queen had even asked Gaius to conjure up some baby food, but there still was no hope. Fortunately Nancy's continuous crying had seized. Both Arthur and Gwen were able to sleep in peace, ever waiting for Merlin's miraculous return.

* * *

Merlin woke with a sudden thump. He darted up to see what had happened.

"What? Where am I?" His blue eyes rushed around in confusion until they meat bright yellow ones.

"We are at the borders of Camelot – I have bought you home." Kilgharrah smiled.

Merlin stared up at the castle in the distance. He too shared a smile with his old friend. Kilgharrah continued. "What happens beyond here is of your volition. I have done what I can; now the rest is up to you. I know what you have been through was tough, but in your lifetime, you will face some tricky situations. Some will be harder than others. But with Arthur at your side, Albion will be safe again."

"Thank you." Merlin bowed his head and began to trek into the forest alone.

He was so tired. Even though the dragon had made him somewhat better, the wound on this stomach was still relatively painful. But luckily he knew the path. He could feel home. It made him power through the pain. All he wanted was to see the people close to him once again.

The journey was long and Merlin was badly hurt. But with the smallest glimpse of hope, he finally stood at the castle gates. He only managed a few steps into the courtyard before falling to his knees and weeping.

Arthur happened to be starring out the window when this occurred. He squinted a few times just to be sure. He thought his eyes were deceiving him. He ran as quickly as his legs would carry him into the courtyard. He ran towards Merlin and held onto him as his he wept into Arthur's shoulder. The king spoke.

"It's okay, I'm here. What happened?"

`"Morgana… she… she… killed Ruth andnowshewants you." Merlin tried hard to calm down but amazingly Arthur understood every word.

"Oh, Merlin..." Arthur hugged him tightly and rocked slightly. It hurt Arthur so badly. Merlin was not the same man he knew.

"I couldn't stop her… Morgana… M-my magic, was useless. IT'S MY FAULT! I TRIE… HELP! HELP!"

"Guards!" Arthur shouted out to his guards to help get Merlin inside. He laid Merlin down on the floor and attempted to calm him down.

"Merlin, calm down. You're panicking. Just slow down and breathe." Arthur rested Merlin's head on his hand as he lay there shaking. The guards approached them as Arthur ordered them to help him bring his servant into the warmth of the castle.

The guards placed the sorcerer on Arthur's bed. Merlin had obviously passed out from shock as he didn't move at all. Arthur was holding Merlin's stone cold hands in an attempt to warm them up. He dismissed the guards and thanked them for their help. As they left the room, Arthur noticed the blood stain on Merlin's blue shirt. He touched it once, the blood was still moist. He frowned and wondered how he could have missed something so major. He decided to lift up Merlin's shirt. He slowly undid the thin, brown belt and lifted the shirt up. Arthur gasped at the horrific sight. A large slice ran from his peck, right down to his hip on the opposite side. The wound might have been even lower, but Arthur didn't want to disrespect Merlin's privacy.

"Arthur! I've heard about Merlin, is he oka…" Gwen's sentence trailed off as she shared her husband's sight. She immediately covered her mouth with her hands and stood still in shock. "I'm getting Gaius, stay here with him." Gwen quickly left the room. She could have possibly been scared of the blood.

It wasn't long before Arthur started talking to the unconscious man. He attempted to wake him up but soon gave up as he realized that Merlin was too tired, and needed the rest.

The king decided to remove Merlin's shirt completely. He placed it along with his jacket at the end of the bed, surprisingly neatly. Considering they'd known each other for years, Arthur had never seen Merlin that exposed before, and he was rather surprised to see that his friend was more muscular than first thought. His abs were rather defined, it just didn't seem to make sense after all the teasing of Merlin being weak and skinny.

Gaius rushed into the room with his precious medicine bag, shortly followed by Gwen. The old man pulled up a stall by the bed and placed the medicine bag on it.

"How long has he been here?" Gaius stared at Arthur.

"A few minutes. I've tried to keep him stable."

Gaius wetted a cloth with some sort of potion and gently dabbed Merlin's wound. He continued for a few seconds before stopping and turning to face the king and queen.

"Where's Ruth?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. Gwen joined him and faced Arthur. The king shook his head

"She didn't make it."

The whole room feel silent. There was an unpleasant sensation wafting in the air. Gwen began to tear up. She held on to Arthur tightly as he too returned the hug. Gaius took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. Somehow he knew something bad was to come of this. He had previously warned Arthur, but always had doubt.

He continued to treat Merlin's wound. But this time, as soon as the cloth made contact with the skin, Merlin flinched and screwed up his face. Gaius called out to him. "Merlin, can you hear me?" The wizard wriggled slightly and made a few grunting noises. Gwen held on to his hand and spoke to him.

"Merlin, it's Gwen. Are you okay?"

"Gw-Gwen?" Merlin's words were faint. But he slowly opened his eyes and welcomed himself into reality.

"Thank god!" Gaius sighed and smiled with relief. He felt like he was nearly losing the only son he had. Merlin looked at everyone in the room. They were all smiling. They were all smiling, for him! He took another look at himself. The cut was a lot bigger than he first imagined. It made it more painful the longer he stared at it. He winced in pain and threw his head on the pillows, but surprisingly it was followed a small laugh. "I'm half naked - In Arthur's bed!"

* * *

**I wanted a bit of happiness at the end! But the next chapters might start to lighten up! Please review! **


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